The doorbell rang and two sets of little hands and two sets of little pigtails peeked through our screen door. We led them through our dining room and into the living room where many a youngster has immediately identified our small collection of toys. These two were no exception. We took turns sitting on the floor with the girls playing and going into the back room with the adults for more information and instruction. We were given forms, very little information, and two souls, two sets of pigtails, for whom to care over the next two weeks.
Naturally, we went to Chick-Fil-A, ate nuggets, and played. At bedtime, they went to sleep with no tears and the ease of ones who have been put to bed in a strange place far too many times. A novice Tooth Fairy exchanged a tiny, jagged tooth for three shiny quarters under a pillow.
The next morning was made of french toast, Doc McStuffins, and crowning the birthday girl, the littlest set of pigtails. We dressed for an impromptu birthday party with all the bells and whistles of one planned for ages.
The weekend gave way to the beginning the week, as it seems to do so often. More teeth were lost, appointments attended, and schedules merged with much compromise and frustration. “Mommy’s,” “Daddy’s,” and “I love you’s” flowed, but our guards remained at the ready. They would be here for only a short time. We will love them hard and well, yes, but soon they will leave.
It wasn’t but a few days in that we learned their circumstances had changed and the possibility of forever was now on the table and a decision expected by the end of the week. What a decision and what a timeline, yet hadn’t this been exactly for which we had signed up? Decide “forever” in one week, not much time, but more than most in this situation. I am thankful for that.
The weight suffocated us. Our words failed us. Our God did not. I woke up all through the night, every night, with words of informal petitioning on my lips.
“God help.”
“God help.”
“God help."
On Friday, peace of the kind that truly does surpass all earthly understanding. For I was entirely unraveled, but completely content, fingerprints of the Giver of Life.
The week drew to a close. The decision yet to be made.
My Soulmate led us well, as he followed the Spirit and carried the eternal heaviness of our families on his shoulders, me and now two little sets of pigtails. I’ve often praised God that I do not hold the burden of biblical manhood. The weight of leading your family is one I am not equipped to bear. I am ever thankful for the one who bears it on our behalf.
Monday morning the tallest set of pigtails was enrolled in her new school. The littlest set content at daycare. The decision had been made.
Their forever became ours.
That night we told them of how the Lord redeems all things. We offered them forever and they agreed with the innocence and ignorance of their age.
And now our forever begins with two little sets of pigtails.
We are thoroughly terrified and incredibly humbled to be Mommy and Daddy. Every day reveals new challenges beyond our skill set, crippling fear of unknowns, exhaustion of the heart, body, and mind, but above all, each sunrise is abundant with the glorious mercies of Jesus.
