Just like Paul Newman says...

Quality over quantity is my current stance, but as a young teenager it was the reverse.  This is the typical teen girl perspective on friendship though and I was every bit a typical teen girl. I desperately hoped for someone, anyone, besides my mom and dad, to validate my existence. To the torture of my parents, this often meant witnessing me as a doormat for the use of other typical teen girls or joining venomous forces with said girls to wipe our feet on the doormat of the day. 

My poor saint of a youth minister suffered through 3 grueling years of vicious high school girl drama before we finally began to even attempt to look outside of our-small-selves. 

Matriculation (any excuse to use that word) gave way to college where the quantity to quality ratio took a shift. College was the birthplace of a handful of relationships rooted and grounded in Christ and nourished by raw, uninhibited authenticity.  I have been lavished in the riches of God's grace when it comes to friendship.  I know that it is a lavishing of GRACE because it is all entirely undeserved.  I left Belton, TX with real life soul connections and returned home to find truth in Mr. Wolfe's claim of the inability to go home again. Home was a different place, I was a different being, and my soul connections were scattered about the world. Alas, God, being rich in grace and mercy, delivered me once and has continued to deliver me still into the hands of women wiser than I who have warmed my heart with the flame of their passions and character. 

All of this to say, my third role of focus is as a friend.
The role of friend comes with some weight to it, especially from a woman's heart. There are expectations, spoken and unspoken, and a failure to uphold these can end in the worst of ways. 

A mentor of mine and fountain of prudence once told me that there are two kinds of presences in our lives, life-giving and life-sucking. 

Clearly, we all long to be the giving, but are or have been someone's sucker at some point. 

As I focus on this role, I want to adjust my actions, responses, and initiatives to give life, the kind of life that matters.  I want to be an outlet for release, but also a pillar of integrity.  I want to be a steel trap of information and an open book.  I want to think before I open my mouth, then shut it so the Holy Spirit can speak. I want to be a standard of character and not an abyss of slander.
Practically, this looks like acting on promptings of the Holy Spirit as he leads.
It looks like asking and actively listening to the response.
It looks like following through with good intentions of prayer and service.
It looks like knowing when "sharing" goes too far.... and I'm a very big "sharer".
This also means, as many of my roles require, to simply show up.
Each friendship is unique to the participants and I have been privileged to engage with some unique participants. 

There are so many life-giving presences in my life and I am honored to seek this role in the life of at least one other.
In conclusion... Come and play everything's A-OK. I'll be there for you when the rain starts to fall and your love life's DOA (clap clap clap clap clap).  It will be like someplace where everybody knows your name. I can't do this all on my own 'cause I'm no superman. It's good to know I've got friends who will always stand by me when it's... SISTER, SISTER!
So, won't you be my... won't you be my... won't you be my neighbor?
'Cause you've got a friend in me.