My Quiet Retreat

The Psalms speak to my core with its easily identifiable nature.  I, as David, have pled for God to come near and questioned how long he will forget and hide his face from me. Dry and weary, I have thirst for him as a dear pants for water.  I have held a glad heart while my whole being rejoices and my flesh dwells secure.  This is the journey of sanctification, a bunch of unstable souls being made righteous by a constant God and the psalms capture it well.

You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word. Psalm 119:114 ESV

As I sat down to look at this scripture for an upcoming retreat, I completely drew a blank.  I sat as the cursor blinked mockingly on my screen. Slowly, then all at once, I realized that I do not practice this as a general rule of thumb. I believe it to be true and have experienced in my past, but as an initial means of shelter, I do not seek God. Instead, I seek to find my retreat in meticulously orchestrated circumstances,  in the ever-perfect delusion of my memory, which is not always 20/20, or in some future version of me.  I search for retreat in weekends away with my husband or planned days of rest, which are never restful.  I look for retreat in the memories of times gone by, though if I am honest, there was no true refuge to be had there either, just the pale comparison through rose-colored glasses of the past.  Or maybe I will reach retreat someday once I complete this list or fulfill that obligation?  All the while, God beckons me into his strong presence as my hiding place, my shield, my quiet retreat. 

To retreat into his presence, I must first know his presence. 

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength,
    a very present[b] help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
    though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
    though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
    God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
    he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
    how he has brought desolations on the earth.
 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
    he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the chariots with fire.
 “Be still, and know that I am God.
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth!”
 The Lord of hosts is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

God is my refuge and strength. Ever present in times of trouble.  

Then follows the times of trouble: though the earth give way, though the mountains be moved to the heart of the sea and swell at its trembling, the nations rage, the kingdoms totter, even then he is present... all evidence of what I know to be true about this world. It is broken, painful, and deprave.

How does God respond to the depravity? He utters his voice and the earth MELTS! He brings desolation on the earth. You don’t melt what is righteousness with your words or bring desolation to what is perfect. He ceases wars, breaks bows and shatters spears. He burns chariots with fire. My God does not sit idly by. He will achieve his righteous glory. 

Then God himself speaks.  

BE STILL and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth! 

Reminding me that he is God. He is about his glory.  He is my fortress, which are only truly utilized in times of war, so I can only assume that I am to be still and know that God is fighting on my behalf, for the exaltation of his name. 

God of Jacob is my fortress! 

He is big and glory-hungry.  He has every right to be. 

However, he does not stop with desolation and destruction, though he is in his right to do so. 

Ephesians tells me that I walked as an object of his wrath. BUT God, so rich in mercy, through the completed work of Jesus Christ has made me alive!  

I am seated in the Heavenly places, lavished in the riches of his grace, a citizen with the saints, adopted as daughter of the most high and the list goes on! 

He is my hiding place and shield, an impenetrable force and a gracious father. 

When I attempt to seek shield and shelter in the futile things or beings of this world, I find it faulty.  

Always holes. 

Always a lacking in strength and security.

Only in the presence of my God can I fully rest. In the midst of this crooked generation, this is the truth in which I find rest, not exclusion from the reality life, but fullness to overcome it. Fear not. He has overcome the world. 

There is no escape from the reality of this world. Life does not stop. 

My laundry sits on the floor. My marriage is never as strong as it could be. My finances taunt me from my bank account.  My schedule is impossibly full.  My depression, anxiety, doubt, loneliness all sit at my feet. 

And God is my shelter, hiding place, shield.  The God of Psalm 46 is in sovereign control over all things. He reigns fully over my home, my relationships, my schedule,  my weaknesses.

The God of Jacob is my fortress.